Letter to Michael Vick Protesters

Letter to Michael Vick Protesters

 

Dear Protesters,

In 2007, Michael Vick was convicted and incarcerated for dog fighting and animal torture. He was sentenced to two years in prison. Since being released he has turned his life around, donated money to animal charities, and stayed out of trouble in general. The question that many people are asking is, exactly what does this man have to do to get animal rights activists out of his azzhole? Isn’t this a country of second chances? His acts were horrific, but it seems that animal rights activists would only be satisfied if he received the death penalty.

As an animal lover, the outrage was present years ago when this crime was committed. Now, not so much. There are convicted sex offenders living in our neighborhoods and our political system is breaking at the seams with right-wing nut jobs. At this point, can’t we move the hell on?

Recently he hosted a comedy event in Louisiana, which was not related to animals in the least. In the off season, many football players generate income by making appearances around the country. Well, seven years after dog fighting, this man can’t even make a living without animal rights activist intervening. We get it! No one supports dog fighting. But damn, he fights dogs no longer, so maybe move the hell on.

Hypocrisy much? There is an entire season for hunters to senselessly murder animals, maybe you should go and protest their azzes. And if I’m not mistaken, Louisiana has legalized cock fighting as a darn sport. Can y’all make your way to the local politician who supports systemic animal cruelty?

Sincerely,

The Host of the Damn Circus

It’s okay to stay your azz home!

Its okay to stay your azz home

Girl, its okay to stay your azz home!

There are just some occasions that calls for you to stay your azz home. If you have an anklet monitor while awaiting trial, maybe its just not your time to party! Raise your hand if you would have opted out of clubbing because of your pending criminal case? LMAO

Officially the circus act of the day!

Beyonce Illuminati Queen

Have you ever read a Beyonce article, then clicked on another related article because you wanted to know more about the mega star? Well, as an avid reader, and a fan of Mrs. Carter, I find myself reading about her various projects quite frequently. Unfortunately, when you click these links for further reading, you tend to run into the craziest conspiracy theories on the net.

**

  1. Beyonce didn’t give birth to Blue IVY Carter: Y’all really! Why in the hell would she fake a pregnancy? Some circus acts theorize that she didn’t want to carry her child out of fear she would lose her figure! Viewing the comments about this conspiracy, I am convinced that people are out of their minds. If I was Beyonce, I would have taped the baby exiting my vagina during birth just to establish the hard and disgusting truth about my pregnancy. If that means showing my lady parts to the world, then so be it. (Just Kidding)

 

  1. Beyonce made a blood sacrifice to the Illuminati: Again, crazy! Why is it so hard to believe that Beyonce became famous through hard work and initiative. Have y’all heard this girl sing? Have y’all seen her perform? She is just awesome plan and simple! So when I see comments stating that she had to make a blood sacrifice to become successful, I just want to slap some people.

 

  1. Beyonce worships the devil and becomes possessed while performing: I have heard actual educated people proclaim that this woman becomes possessed when she performs. All I could do was shake my head because only an idiot would think like this. Let’s think about it for real! As soon as Beyonce hits the stage, an evil spirit possesses her body, to what? What is the purpose of a dancing and singing demon? lmao

Fox News Reporter Vows to Fck Missing Girl When Found

Fox News Reporter Vows to Fuck Missing Girl When Found

Really, Fox News!!

“Yeah, I’d fck her, I’d fck her right in the pussy!”

There are just no words to explain the disgust that I felt when I saw this video. Apparently, a Fox News reporter thought the camera was off and decided to say the most disgusting things you can say regarding a victim, or anyone for that matter. I know that we all say things when we think no one is listening, but to say that you would fck a missing person when found, that just reveals how much of a monster you really are.

Women, watch out for this charmer!!! Our circus act of the day and future serial rapist!!

Chicken Nuggets Gone Wild!

Chicken Nuggets Gone Wild!

When I’m seeking breakfast at McDonald’s, and they tell me that breakfast has ended, I admit…I get a little pissed off. What I have never done, however, is physically attack a McDonalds’ employee for a menu change. It’s not personal, it’s just their preference.

This particular customer must have visited a fast food joint when they were still serving breakfast because she was “jonesing” (maybe miss spelled) for some damn chicken nuggets. Whatever the case, she has been labeled the Circus Freak of the Day!

 

Check out our pages!

YouTube Wall of Circus Freaks

About the Circus

Need a Writer?

 

Go Back To Your Country…N-Word!

 

Ok, ok! Here we go again! Racism in its most modern and blatant form. Do some adults fail to understand that whatever is caught on a video phone will inevitably go viral if its offensive enough? Can’t say that I was surprised by this video, especially after the previous one last week. Do they not understand, using the n-word just makes you look ridiculous.

I don’t know about other African Americans, but I don’t have another country to go back to. So when you’re white and you make this demand, you’re just really telling me to return to Texas with my fellow Texans. This is a nation of immigrants and descendants of slaves b*tch, you need to read a book!

To be fair, I don’t agree with the chick, apparently an adolescent, following the evil crow around, and that is the only relief this creature of the devil will get from me. I want this n-word menace to be utterly humiliated on social media and around the world. Can you make that happen! Share this story on your own blogs!

Officially the circus act of the day!

 

 

Dranking Watermelon?

Dranking Watermelon

Did you guys know what “dranking watermelon” really meant in Beyonce’s song? Raise your hand if you thought Beyonce was singing about drinking a fruity alcoholic beverage in her lyrics “I be dranking, watermelon.” I promise I thought this was a watermelon margarita, or some expensive drink that celebrities drink all the time while chilling on the beach. Never thought it was this nasty!

Michelle Williams Say Yes…

 

This is a very encouraging song with a wonderful message. But why are people criticizing Michelle for being so skinny? She has a medical condition you guys so leave it alone.

On another note, its nice that she teamed up with Beyonce and Kelly to build an audience, but in every video or pic, the shot is completely focused on Beyonce. I understand that Michelle isn’t as famous as Bey and Kelly, but it seems that she is still standing on Beyonce’s coat tails to make a successful career for herself. I wish the best for her, but girl please…we ain’t crazy!

Blue IVY Carter Hair Petition

beyonce-blue-ivy-hair__oPt

I would never publicly criticize a child’s parents, and nor do I believe that starting a petition to demand parents to comb a child’s hair is appropriate. But since I am a woman with a small child with thick natural hair, I’m not understanding why they just don’t put it in a pony tail. Blue IV is a beautiful baby and she is always looking gorgeous, but I do notice that her hair be looking a hot sh*tty mess.

I understand that babies hate having their hair combed, but she has to get used to it. You must keep it moisturized so that when you brush her hair it won’t be such a painful process. I haven’t cut my son’s hair yet, so he walks around with an Afro sometimes. Most of the time we just put in one pony tail. Yes my child squirms and puts his hand in the way, but I just continue brushing it until it looks manageable.

I’m a first time mom so I understand what Beyonce is going through. Although I do think more should be done with her hair, at the end of the day, Blue IV is not my child. And in this case, it is important that this ridiculous petition be put to bed immediately. Not only is it a waist of time, but it is very hurtful to a mother.  So, my clowns visiting the circus, encourage those idiots to take that sh*t down!

Famous Titties versus Mommy Titties

Public Tits vs. Breast Feeding Tits

Famous Titties versus Mommy Titties

The internet has been raging about the scandalous, yet illustrious red-carpet gown worn by Rih Rih, our R&B princess. I must admit that she is one of my favorite artists so this had absolutely nothing to do with her scantily fashionable faux pas. The hypocrisy here is the growing population of men and women who glamorize famous titties, but criticize motherly titties. I am so sick of people saying things like:

  • “why can the baby wait to eat when the mother gets home?” (Well, the problem here is, when a baby is hungry, you want to nourish your child immediately, so screw you and your ignorance with a cocaine laced dildo.)
  • “no one wants to see that.” (But it was quite okay for Rhi Rhi to put her tits and azz on display for the entire world to observe and rejoice.)

At the end of the day, fu#k all hypocrites and stop giving moms a hard azz time for feeding an infant in public when breasts and vaginas are all over the damn place.

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz!

Lately, with the increase in stress and responsibilities, I’ve found a need to visit my local Starbucks for that mid-day pick-me-up. Today was an awkward day for me as the hostess or Starbucks broad taking my order became very irritated with me because of the way I ordered my drink.
Me: “Can I have a Caramel Macchiato? And make that non-fat please. Oh, and please add an extra shot of espresso.”
 
Starbucksy: “Tsk…just pull around please!”
I was very shocked by the obvious irritation in her voice, but I didn’t understand what I had done so wrong that caused her to suck her damn teeth so aggressively. So I drove around not knowing what to expect. She handed me my drink and then…
Starbucksy: “Next time you just need to say Caramel Macchiato, light. I didn’t understand the order at first.”
Not only was she pissed off with my ignorant Starbucks etiquette, the b*tch checked me right on the spot. I don’t expect to get checked when I’m spending my hard earned money on some damn overpriced caffeine with low fat milk.
Is there a big difference from non-fat and light? And really, any idiot can put that together. I thought we learned context clues in the third grade.
Obviously, there is an entire Starbucks culture of coffee fiends who have made their own lingo to specify their desires.

Life is a damn circus, and this broad is the circus act of the day!

Obsessed With a High Functioning Sociopath?

Obsessed with a highly functioning sociopath?

Does it surprise you that I have a rather shallow and artificial addiction to a high functioning sociopath. (I’m not the fan that attends book signings or write fan mail; I just don’t have the motivation for all that) But a girl can inform her readers about how awesome this show was. You can check it out on Netflex and Amazon.

Where can I find another epic psychological drama?

Although the television show Sherlock has concluded after three years of closely examining every miniacle case and utter annoyances experienced by the character played by my artificial boyfriend, Benedict Cumberbatch, I have decided that nothing has taken its place to fill the void that is my need for an epic psychological drama.

Sherlock’s Most Famous Quotes (Per the BBC series)

  • “Boring! Good bye!”
  • “I’m not a psychopath…I’m a high functioning sociopath; do the research”
  • “I assumed you didn’t scrub your floors by the state of her knees…”(priceless)
  • “shut up”
  • “This involves a serial killer, there’s always something to look forward to.”
  • Prospective Client: “I think my husband is having an affair!” Sherlock: “Yes”
  • “Anderson, don’t talk out loud you lower the IQ of the entire street.”
  • “Of course I’m a show off, that’s what we do.”

I’m Not Racist…My Cousin is Black!

Initial Version

The Crackhead’s Version

This idiot admitted to being Bipolar and confessed that “they” are trying to take her kids, oh and…her COUSIN is black. Well, let me tell you something lady, your black cousin knows exactly how you feel about her/him, and will hopefully confront your Bipolar azz before Children’s Services returns your kids.

Let us give her the benefit of the doubt and he actually did call her a…white cracker/ crackhead stripper (lmmfao), he would be soooo wrong for that. I don’t condone racism in no way, shape, or form.

However, if we really think about the entire ordeal, who seems more credible? The sinister n-word who aggressively started the ignition of his car, or the bipolar chick with the stringy black hair who has problems with Children’s Services?

The NRA Can Kick Rocks

NRA can kick rocks

The NRA Calls for Armed Teachers in Response to Nevada School Shooting

There has been yet another school shooting that ended in two deaths and two seriously injured at a Nevada middle school. This particular school shooting was out of the ordinary as fellow students proclaimed how the shooter was a “good student.” No one would have suspected that he would have brought a firearm from home to shoot himself and others.

 NRA Geniuses (Sarcasm)

Now that the country has seen these school shootings one too many times, the Gun control debate sparks new theories about protecting ourselves and youths. I try to stay neutral about gun control, but there is no way I can at this time. The NRA states that the recent shooting is an indication that teachers should be armed in the classroom.

Armed Teachers? Oh Hell Naw!

I know many educators, and while most of them are very smart and patient individuals, there are some who are capable of pulling a George Zimmerman. If the student appears to be a threat, who is stopping the teacher from putting two in the chest and claiming that he stood his ground. I would not want my child to be in a classroom with an armed teacher. The NRA gets nuttier every time there is an incident involving children and guns.

Top 5 Most Annoying Airport Behaviors

airport ettiquette

Top 5 most annoying airport behaviors

The top 5 most annoying airport behaviors are important as some people are unaware of how sickeningly rude they can be.There is something about the behaviors we see in the airport, it’s like another culture, or sub-culture. It is understandable that everyone has somewhere to be, but even self-absorbed narcissists can be just a little patient. Navigating through the airport is annoying in itself but irritants in this list causes normal travelers to ditch their frequent flyer miles and suffer a long drive to their destination.

Check out the top 5 most annoying airport behaviors!

  •  Screaming loudly at the TSA stating “I have special privileges.”
  •  Refusing to take off your shoes even though you know what to expect.
  •  Farting in a closed area such as an airplane and obnoxiously say, “It’s only gas.”
  •  Throwing a tantrum because your bag is 100 pounds and still expected to carry it aboard.
  •  Talking on the phone loud enough for the entire waiting area to hear your very inappropriate conversation about sex.

FIFA Chronicles: Rudest Neighbors of All Time

Four LocoIt is Friday night and the second floor FIFA crowd has gathered to piss me off once again. I think I have drank enough of this Four Loco to go up there and ask nasty-nicely if they could stop scaring the shyt out of my 1 year old with all that damn noise screaming and jumping. Continue reading

Top 5 signs you have the worst neighbors of all time

bad neighbors, top 5 signs, lifestyle, listWhen you live in apartment homes, it is pertinent for you to be considerate of your neighbors, and it’s recommended that you get to know who you’re living among. However, there are just some neighbors that you will never, EVER, get to know because they are ignorant and insane.

Check out the top 5 signs you have the worst neighbors of all time. Continue reading

Top 10 Tips on Maintaining Natural African American Hair

afroIn the last few years, African American natural hair has been celebrated for its beauty and stylish versatility. Women who have dedicated their entire lives to man-made chemicals and bone-straight hair, have abandoned their chic Euro look and have embraced a more all natural Afro chic style. Continue reading

Ciara: Super Turned Up

This is my shit, as I write this late-ass paper (Qualitative studies)! Hope that baby stay sleep for at least another hour so I can get it done.Then I’m taking him to the doctor, and back to this late ass paper again. The wonderful life of motherhood, wiferyhood, and doctoratehood rolled into one.

But a B*tch is Super Turned Up!

Sadistically Me

 

SADISTICALLY ME

 

This is a post from my fiction blog series Sadistically Me.

The thickness of the trees seemed to gravitate toward me as if purposely obstructing my path through Glendale’s private forest. My heart was pounding in my chest, and the hand held dagger, recently used, was slippery from the blood on the hilt. My breathing was labored and significantly decreased my speed. Damn it! Daniel was getting away.

Daniel was silent and quick in his desperate attempt to flee the inevitable. The only evidence of his presence was the movement of the long branches that were extremely sharp as they scraped the sides of my perfect face, recoiling from the momentum of his speed. Continue reading

Chris Brown: Do we still care?

By VERONICA LINARES, UPI.com

Here we go again! I must first off by saying that I do not support domestic violence in no way, shape or form, but in the comparison Chris just made today,  I keep thinking why are we still Chris Bashing?

Apparently, Chris Brown asked why is he villainous in the present due to his mistake he has paid for in the past, and Jay Z has been placed on a pedestal despite his history of selling drugs and being found guilty of stabbing someone.

I admit was pissed off and disappointing in Chris Brown when this incident first occurred years ago, but now, Rhianna has moved on and Chris Brown has been punished. Rhianna continues to wag her vagina with those skin tight-azz panties, and taking risque photos looking like a tranny-harlot at a Renaissance festival.

If we don’t leave this man alone after being punished for his crimes, what does that say about us? What is the purpose of the criminal justice system if this man is sentenced, does his time, and still considered a menace to society.

There are mothers to teenage girls who complain about his music and his overall influence. Well, that is YOUR responsibility as the parent to patrol your child’s listening habits. It is also the parent’s responsibility to talk to their children about domestic violence and explain the gravity of what Chris Brown did and why people are upset with his actions. There are some parents who want the outside world to teach their children everything, this is a horrible idea.

However, it is no way our business to stop him from making a living. If other people still want to listen his music, then allow them the right as an American citizen to listen to this controversial person. You have the right to boycott the shit out of him  just like Jay and Bey.

Getting to that, I love Jay Z and the image he and Beyonce portray in the present, but I remember when he had his scandals, so when he and Bey were boycotting award shows due to Chris Brown’s actions I was like, are you serious? But, I also had to consider that Rihanna was his friend and colleague so of course that was his approach to providing support. Even Beyonce went on CNN with her country azz and fakedly reached out in support of Rhianna (CNN though? How you support someone on CNN? Why she just didn’t go to her damn house.) 

Either way, right now in the present, all of it should be squashed. Everyone has returned to their normal role. Rihanna (I’m sorry if I’ve misspelled her name a thousand and one ways but oh well) got her Birthday Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake on with Chris and now everything is all good.

The Green Card Game: I Married An African Physician by Tina Webster

I must say that I am already hooked on this book and it hasn’t been released. I absolutely love it…and I haven’t read it. Author Tina Webster has done an outstanding job advertising her emotional and financial trauma stemming from a conniving, manipulative, treacherous, and deceitful demon-esque hoe-bag of a husband from the mother land. I was left with multiple questions and no answers, and now I am feeling disappointed and betrayed by having to wait until November….NOVEMBER!!!! And another thing…

Now yall, we have all worked with men from Africa. SOME of them (trying to be politically correct, but personally I think its most but who the fck cares) do have their complains about African American women. One dude I worked with said that AA women were dirty and ignorant. Now I don’t believe this for one moment because my luscious ass just got out of the damn shower and I’m a PhD candidate. So stanky and dumb can’t fit just anyone’s azz. I wonder what he would say about Miley Cirus? Is that stank? Is that dumb? Home chick fits both descriptions.

Okay, a little off topic. The Green Card Game: I Married An African Physician, will be available in November and I will be the first customer!!!

Check out Mama Don’t by Tina Webster

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships

The single gal era is the time to celebrate being an adult, making a little money, and being young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships. Sometimes I dwell on past relationships because I see how wonderful my life is with my hubby and son. I’ve concluded that I was a bit of a harlot in my younger years. Well, I just turned 31 so I guess it wasn’t too long ago, soooooo…..what the hell ever just read my damn story about being young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships.

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships: Boring Dude

I experienced my first adult relationship with a guy I thought I would marry. However, we were NEVER  meant to be at all. He enjoyed blues and jazz, and I enjoyed everything but. All in all, I grew up and found that he was boring the shit out of me, and I was standing in his way of messing around with other girls. That’s crazy because it never seemed to stop me even a little. I was Young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships.

Ever get engaged while in a serious relationship with another guy?

The end of the relationship wasn’t purely his fault. I have to admit, I dabbled in a few love affairs during our time in coupledom. Actually, at one point while in this relationship, I spontaneously got engaged to an old friend from high school. He returned from the Navy on family leave and he looked really nice in a uniform. Ever marry someone because they look great in a suit? Well yah girl here was on the verge. It must have been fate right? WRONG as hell! When he shipped back off, I forced myself to cry tears of sadness and then a sistah got dumped. It was expected. I knew that once he sailed off to his Navy boat we were over because I never gave up the goodies before he left. I was young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships but I wasn’t an idiot. It was all a big show just to get in my pants.

My husband says when you’re young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships that type of shyt happens.

Navy man was out of the picture and I was over him like in a week or two. Now that I think about it, I should have pawned the engagement ring for some high fashion stilettos instead of returning it like a lady with class. Furthermore, I was still in a relationship with boring dude, who I decided to recommit my time and love to permanently.

When I visited him at school, I would clean, do his laundry, ANYTHING I could do to make up  for what I did and to maintain his love for me. I gave all of myself, and it didn’t work out. This led me to eventually shut down and become a feminist, but in due time I will get to that. I have to squeeze in the fact that I accidentally-on-purpose started a relationship with another individual after recommitting to boring guy. Yeah, I was young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships!

Ever jump into a relationship because of an attraction to someone’s hair?

The new love/like interest was different. He was a bad boy and I was attracted to his huge and fluffy Afro. Too bad nothing else was huge and fluffy on him that I could actually enjoy. I built an entire relationship on an attraction to someone’s hair. The relationship was so superficial that the only thing I can remember was a moment when I visited his grandmother’s house. We were just chilling and watching television when I asked to use the restroom, and the grandmother said she was out of toilet paper. Her next statement left me speechless. I would have rather left and pissed myself on the way home than to comply with her recommendation.

“Oh baby, here is some newspaper, just rub it together real fast and it’s just like toilet paper. I use it all the time. ” She was actually rubbing newspaper together for the purpose of me using it.  I think Afro man saw my mortification when his grandmother began shoving the daily news at me for toileting purposes. I had to end that tragic “relationship” right then and there. I was young, dumb, and full of cum in my past relationships but I wasn’t desperate.

To be continued…

The twerking diaries: how to twerk?

Image by: HOWCAST/youtubeI am still an amateur! My husband said I’m, what’s the word he used? STIFF!!!  

I have no idea why this is such a huge deal. As I have mentioned in my last post, people have been shaking their azzes since the beginning of time.

Now that Miley with her no-azz-at-all azz TRIED to twerk, which was an absolute FAIL btw, everyone is so excited about shaking their azz now. Where was the media when Tip Drill came out?

This is the rated X version (I couldn’t find the clean version). If you are under 18 years old, you need to shut down the damn computer and read a book anyway. You are not allowed to view this on my blog.

I don’t have an opinion regarding the appropriateness of the video. I just wanted to demonstrate that twerking has existed for awhile and is highly entrenched in the Hip Hop community. This is a learning moment!!! See how I just turned soft porn into an academic experience? lol

Bleach and Piss

Parent Tip AlertI just moved into these really nice apartment homes where I thought me and the “fam fam” wouldn’t be hindered with incompetent front office staff and insane persons trying to commit suicide once a month. Check out my post regarding the idiot down stairs at my previous apartment and his stand off with a fully armed SWAT team.

I will make this as painless as possible. The people next door can be characterized as a neighbor’s worst nightmare. This woman has five children, a cheating live-in boyfriend, and a little boy who refuses to piss in the toilet. Let me repeat that for emphasis…

                         …a little boy who refuses to piss in the toilet. (He is around seven or eight by the way)

Our first day in the apartment, the little boy whipped out his junk and peed on the adjoining porch we unfortunately share with his family.

I didn’t understand why his mother didn’t address this issue when he started socializing and understanding proper etiquette, but her azz is lacking some etiquette her damn self because she has no qualms about public self-humiliation. While I was walking from my baby’s room, I heard her door slam and her screaming as if she were in pain. I thought something was wrong. I peeked out the key hole and she was just fine. She stood right outside my door cussing at the woman who cheating with her man. Every word was an expletive, and sorry to say…very entertaining.

Miley Cyrus fingered herself on national television

Miley Cyrus fingered herself on national television

Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Clear Channel

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus (Photo credit: rwoan)

I’m not the one to sensationalize certain tragedies but there was no way I could pass up this opportunity without giving my 2 cents and a dollarl. I understand that Miley Cyrus is an adult, but at least have some class about yourself. I won’t even hate on the wardrobe because all pop stars have had a “barely-there” moment from Beyonce, Britney, and definitely Lady Gaga. So it’s not the clothes, even though what she wore was not very flattering. The flesh toned panties accentuated the fact that she has no azz-at-all and leotards should flee upon her arrival.

Fingering or Air Guitar?

The uproar is about the behavior. While trying to rock it out with the air guitar, it appeared as though she were tickling herself…down there. She proceeded to grind and thrust her no-azz-at-all up against anyone and anything in her vicinity while wagging her tongue like a dog in heat.  And what was the deal with screwing the baseball finger? How did this violation of the finger add any substance to the performance? She was actually thrusting herself on a finger on national television. She was acting like a horny teenage girl desperate for attention and high on Crystal Meth.

Pandering to Pedophiles?

Let us then analyze the theme of the entire performance. There were care-bears and half-naked women with huge fluffy hair on stage. Miley wore a leotard with a red-tongued cartoon on the front. Who is her audience? Why is she targeting young girls and pedophiles?  I was speechless and didn’t know whether to scream or just hurl from disgust. A touch of class can go a long way, Miley!

DONALD TRUMP A FRAUD? WHO KNEW?

Lets all act surprised that Donald Trump aka Trumpy has been denounced as a fraud! Even the starved animal taken hostage on his head is fraudulent!!! According to wherever I came across this information, Trumpy is involved in a scheme called Trump’s University that lures impressionable and desperate people into paying thousands of dollars for the secret’s to Trump’s success. When I actually think about this scheme, I just wonder how idiotic one would have to be associating with Trumpy in the first place. Yes he has made a lot of money, but he has also damaged his brand by acting like a republican buffoon (No offense Republicans) on national television.

“I have a guy who went down to Hawaii and they can prove Obama is not a US citizen.”

Interviewer: Okay, where is the proof?

“I haven’t received word just yet, but rest assure I will have something extremely important to report tomorrow.”

Trumpy lost all respect when he started pulling lies out of his lower cavity just to prove a malicious rumor that Obama was more likely “the other” instead of our President.  And from personal experience pathological liars are capable of anything! Is Trumpy a Fraud? Hell yeah, and then some!

The premier of Scandal Oct. 3rd

So, I am a Scandal fanatic and I have been waiting for Scandal to return for months. How am I supposed to function until October? What are these television executives thinking? I can only watch seasons one and two so many times. Ok, that’s a lie, I can continue to watch it until the season premier. I can’t get enough of this steamy romance and all the drama surrounding the first lady. Oh how I yearn for just one clip of the season premier. Damn these scandalous azz people. They have us fans drooling like Pavlov’s dogs for just a taste of our iconic show!!

I’m a Grown Azz Man/Woman

Don’t you get tired of hearing that old phrase of I’m a grown ass man or I’m a grown ass woman? It’s starting to plague society like that ridiculous Television show Scandal is doing our TV air waves! I mean essentially if you are as grown as you say you are, you should not have to yell it out like a rambunctious child.

The first time I heard this phrase was from a crack head in the parking lot of Stater Bro’s because I failed to give her enough change for a snack at Jack -N- Box, so she say! The crack head became irate when I inquired about the purpose she needed two dollars. She responded “do you got it or not? Don’t be questioning me about no damn two dollars; I’m a grown ass woman!” Now if you know me, you know that I looked at her like you done lost your crack headed azz mind talking to me like that after I just gave you a dollar fifty of my hard earned money. I told her mam, I’m giving you this money because I’m a man of God first and I would want somebody to help me if I was hungry. But let’s be real, you on that powder! I know because I grew up with a crack head that once stole my Starter coat and wore it all summer then sold it for a 10 dollar rock!

Long story short, I informed her that true grownups don’t broadcast it, they show it, they live it, they about it.  Growing up is a process not a race. If it were that simple, we’d all be track stars. So if you’re one of those people that like to inform us all that you are grown because you pay 2 bills, please do some self-reflection and GET REAL!!@

Bossman,

Guest Writer

Stop and frisk? What about stop and shit?

Stop and Sh!t

I don’t live in New York and would have been just devastated if I were stopped for no apparent reason just so some profiling-azz cop could rub the gentle surface of my lady parts. I wonder what would have been a deterrent to officers who were about to stop and frisk an individual minding their own business?

Lets say California had a stop and frisk policy identical to NY‘s previous policy. Here is a scenario: My girl and I are getting our walk on and are harassed by a cop looking to get frisky.

In my little dream land, California has stop and frisk vendors that sell these very comfortable panties that has  two chemicals inside that smells like super sh!t when mixed together. To activate, you just smack your butt with your hand to mix the chemicals, and then your entire body is wrapped in this atrocious odor that burns the nostrils and throats of the policeman and the person wearing the panties. It’s like  mace but its an AZZ odor that deters the officer from completing his search. Ain’t no man or woman going to touch any person that smell like dead azz.

LMAO! I’m Being Super Silly Today

I understand that the government wants to clean up the streets, I see both sides of this situation. However, I can’t ignore the fact that the targeted individuals are persons of color. I’m pretty sure the police aren’t on fifth avenue  frisking people’s nut sacks (sorry if offensive), or bothering the women on Sex and the City with pat downs and ish!! I hope that the government can replace this policy with another pragmatic and fair doctrine that will apply to everyone without targeting specific populations.

Internet Marketing Stole the Virgin’s Panties…GONE!

Back in the day, but not that long ago,

I was scammed multiple times by marketing schemes and was caught off guard with the gravity of persuasiveness within the article’s content. Expert internet marketers pay professionals to write premium content that can seduce a rigid virgin out of her panties after reading one or two paragraphs. Then after spending the money you’re screwed with smelly stained drawers and a curious look on your face. They make so many promises and make them sound soooooo great, and some, including me, just fall for it every time.

When I was first getting to feel my way around the internet in college, my motto was: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me again, maybe third time is a charm! It sounded like some kind of gambling addiction. I knew there was a significant risk in marketing opportunities, but I always felt like the next time would be the one. Of course you live and you learn from your mistakes, and as you can tell I was an idiot on many occasions. I was single, in college, and could do what I wanted so throwing away a little money here and there was no big deal.

However, 31 years old, a baby, a husband, a doctorate program, and thousands of miles away from the republican and female oppressive state of Texas, there is no way in hell on earth I will throw away any money on these ratchet azz scams. And when someone says something is free, you better believe you will be giving up something whether it be an email address, a date of birth, your name, SOMETHING. Nothing is ever free.

Job Interview Disaster Disorder and Pure Blessings Along the Way

Pink Clouds

I look back and realize that only my God could have gotten me through interviews that landed me jobs where I have thrived for years. I have a disorder called “I suck at job interviews” and it is mixed with anxiety, the need to go to the bathroom, and the urge to puke.

I’ve concluded that He made a way through other people and circumstances as a means to get my foot in the door despite job interview jitters. The first was with the state of Texas, where the interviewer could care less who she was hiring as long as I had a bachelor’s degree and wasn’t a pedophile. They were hiring like two hundred people at a time and I so happen to have graduated a month earlier. I am so awful in interviews. I actually cried in this one. I got the job a week later. God is good!

That was four great years of doing what I loved. I would have never left that job, but I fell in love with a southern guy who relocated to California. So of course I was obliged to marry this southern fellow, me being a southern delight myself, and relocated to the murder capital of the world. (Ok, maybe not the world, but since I have been here, I have witnessed a couple of standoffs with the police, one including a SWAT team and the mentally ill tenant down stairs).

Finding a job in a strange state was difficult. The first couple of interviews were horrible, but not because of my disorder, it was the atrocious behaviors of the interviewers. A significant example is the interviewer who asked me my astrological sign, Gemini, and then became excited because he heard that all Geminis were freaks. This employer called me a freak in the job interview! He proceeds to tell me a story about his friend with a Gemini tattoo that wraps around her back, and wanted to demonstrate how it looked. He told me to stand up, and my Willy Foo Foo azz did, and he started to feel me up. I walked out of the office and drove home furious. That was my first interview in California. My husband was about to blow a gasket, but calmed down when I wrote an email to the own of the business. The southern gentleman returned and all was right with the world. God is good!

Moving on! My blessing arrived when I was called in for a Social Worker position in San Bernardino. I went in and I just simply loved the interviewer, she made me feel comfortable and tried to make general conversation about my shoes. I was nervous but she alleviated a lot of that. I got the job! Well, turns out, I really didn’t have the credentials for the position, but my interviewer requested an exception for me. I thought that was the nicest thing she ever did. As I worked with her, I started to understand how God worked through her to bless me. Turns out, the boss was an emotionally unstable control freak who treated some of her staff like indentured servants and she always found extra things you should have done when you’ve completed everything she’s asked. I actually didn’t mind it at first, but she became paranoid and started treating the social workers, supportive staff, and the foster parents like her little minions. She was eventually fired, but I still had a job. God is Good!

I just wanted to motivate anyone out there who has been searching for employment and has not been successful. He makes a way and sometimes its not the way you want, but at least it’s a way in.

TWERK IT, TWERK IT, TWERK IT…

Let me first start off by saying that I have tried twerking it for the hubby with no success. I hope there is a class on YouTube I can take to improve my technique (lmao); but just know that ish stays where it should, in the bedroom. However, I’m not throwing any shaderade your way. There is nothing wrong with your grown azz twerking on YouTube because you have the right to make a donkey of yourself. Personally, many people who are showing their jelly beans and pop cycles have some deep self-esteem issues that have never been resolved. Whatever you do in your free time is your business, and obviously all of YouTube.

The twerking phenom has been stripped and repackaged, this is just the 2013 version. People have been shaking their azzez since the beginning of time. Anyway, I could care less about millions of grown people bouncing their azzez on garbage containers, what isn’t appropriate is uploading a video of your child twerking it in some cut off shorts and a tank top. Parents be aware that there are child predators trolling the internet just looking for children to watch for their pleasure, and you are providing them with all the footage they need.

I know I sound real snooty right now and yall think I have my panties all in a bunch, but I have empathy and have tried Visualization and walked through a situation in which my child started twerking:

 I’m chilling over my cousin’s house and we watching the new Busta Rhymes video featuring Nicki Minaj. I guess the children heard the video “Twerk it” in the other room and decided to watch. I was uneasy because the video is nothing a child should watch, especially a little girl. There are gyrating women every where shaking every 3 inches of their 30 inches of azz. DANG. The kids started dancing, jumping around looking crazy, just messing around at first, then my little cousin decides she would dance like Nicki Minaj. At this point during my visualization I ignored her because my mental daughter Chloe, continued to do the awkward kid dances at first. Oh, but not before long, that little heffa started twerking and showing all these variations of twerking. I felt the anger rising and a wave of heat washed over me. I was seeing red. I continued my mental role play to get the full gist of what I would do if someone tried to video my baby. The drama continued when my little cousin wanted to do a split and twerk the floor while her mother recorded it with her iPhone. At that point in my role play, I snatched up my child and got the hell up out of there. You ain’t putting my child on the internet twerking no damn floor.

Ok, so after that experiment I knew that no parent in their right mind would feel comfortable about their child being posted online doing something that may be considered sexual in nature. If we analyze the twerking phenom for how it is defined, it is the representation of yourself as a sexual being and having a great time, and listening to banging music. That is appropriate for grown women, but not little girls or teenagers who should be worrying about school and participating in extracurricular activities. I’ve seen YouTube videos in which the mother is twerking on the side of her daughter, basically sending a message that this type of behavior is normal.

Substance abuse is hilarious with Willie Nelson

Blog StuffLOL!!! Oh come on!! You know its funny! I am the last person to make light of any situation involving substance abuse because I have seen how drugs have destroyed people’s lives. There is nothing funny about shooting something foreign into your body for a short-lived high. When I found this poster on Facebook, I just couldn’t stop laughing. My career has always placed me in the center of substance abuse cases and I understand that you can only do so much and move on because that is the nature of drug life. Even with the ones you love, you have to say a prayer and live your own life because they are not the same person they were before the addiction. Addicts are for themselves by themselves. Real Talk.

My job interview caused a stroke

As some may know, I am working on my PhD right now and juggling a family and other responsibilities, so it is safe to assume that I am pretty sharp about certain things.

Image by blogs.thenews.com.pkBUT! Yes there is a but! I analyze myself daily and I know exactly how Tracie works, how Tracie thinks, and how Tracie reacts. Job interviews are not the best settings for me to shine. Lol The last interview I had was so horrible I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry it was so
funny and devastating. It was a phone interview. I know you are thinking. Really? A phone interview? I can do that on the toilet while smoking a blunt? Well, as I said before, job interviews are not the the optimum settings for me to shine, it’s like the clouds are generating some serious shaderade on a sistah.

I won’t go into the entire interview, but they asked whether I had any programming experience, and I have but I think I suffered an anxiety-stroke attack ( made up condition) that shut down my brain and just anythang  fell out of my mouth. “I sponsored a Diva Day.” Soon as the words Diva and Day fell out of my mouth I knew these people thought I was crazy. Then they wanted me to elaborate on the nonsense, but I think they just wanted some entertainment. They knew it was ridiculous, I knew it was ridiculous, why continue highlighting this critical mistake? I explained that “Diva Day” was a Friday appreciation day for the office. I decorated the tables pink and black and brought cakes and other sweets for us to snack on all day. I boosted morale and it gave all of the social workers and staff an excuse to eat devil’s food for eight hours. Y’all, those people were speechless!!!! and ready to get off that phone so quick after that explanation. I guess I can’t blame them, I’m from the deep south so I sound very different from what they are used to here in California. (Silly Southern Gal)

For the prudes, sometimes I make up my own words or spellings because its my blog and I can do that, OK, thank you!

HOSTILE WORKING ENVIRONMENTS

 

HOSTILE WORKING ENVIRONMENTS

At least once in your life you will drop every thing and walk out of the door, without caring if the door hits you in the assets. What a grand, unadvised step to take considering the economic pit falls.However, there is this overwhelming moment while sitting at the desk trying to address every client and ensure that reports are submitted by imposed deadlines. Its a rather tedious job, being a social worker and all. Home visits, transporting children to their parent visits, and trying to control foster parents who are, most of the time, crazier than the natural parents. When I walked out the office, followed by my EX supervisor, I yelled….I’M FREE…at the top of my lungs. It felt great! I may be job hunting for awhile, but there was no way I could remain in such a hostile working environment without having a psychotic break.

SCANDAL…AMERICA’S ADDICTION

scandal photo

We think of addiction and we automatically reference methamphetamine or cocaine. In this case, the television series, Scandal, has not only drawn our attention, it has manifested into an addiction that draws in television watchers from multiple demographics in the United States. Have you noticed the arousal that spreads on your Facebook.  We…yes me as well, are closely following Scandal’s Facebook page to interpret what will happen on each episode. Are you referring Thursday nights as Scandal nights, and have your alcoholic beverage ready until Scandal graces your wide screen television? There is a population of women and men who were torn to pieces after the season finale. I almost died thinking about the long hiatus we have to endure until fall. This is just not fair. These actors and actresses don’t need a break. We are suffering an addiction that will resort to watching season’s one and two on Amazon until we are graced with the suspense of our Scandal.

Related Articles

Psychological Warfare and Hostile Working Environments

Psychological Warfare and Hostile Working EnvironmentsHave you ever worked with hard core co-workers who were hell bent on making your life a living hell? Well I have had the dishonor of experiencing a hostile work environment for the first time since relocating to California. I have always had great supervisors until working at this particular agency.

Psychological Warfare

I recently resigned after two years of  hell on earth. It was the epitome of psychological warfare. As a professional woman, I have never been subjected to such unprofessional idiots since I began my career in social services. The strategic planning of firing disliked employees was ridiculously childish, and the absence of compassion was deafening. Every single day I wanted to claw at their wretched eyes with dirty fingernails, but instead I did what I was told like a good little disgruntled employee. Let me introduce you to the cast of hell-on-earth:

The CEO:

A scarecrow looking as$ btch who thought it was a great idea to refer to social workers as btches during a staff meeting. I know you’re thinking, “scarecrow, really?” Well let me add this into the mix; the president looks like a raggedy Ann doll who repeatedly burnt the ends of her hair from falling asleep smoking. She looks more like an alcoholic than a president of a company.

The Boss:

A narcissistic btch who has absolutely no facial expressions and has to announce when she is excited. She is a compulsive liar, a sinister, yet brilliant strategist, and will lie repeatedly to benefit whatever bull shyt cause she is supporting. Charlie Brown looking btch!

The Idiot

This person is quit similar to the compulsive liar above, but she isn’t smart enough to be a strategist. I can describe her in two words: utterly imbecilic. In contrast to Charlie Brown, she has one specific mood that often makes her co-workers want to leap off the nearest cliff. She can only appear and act depressed. Where is the happiness? How can someone be such a btch and work in the social services industry? I’m pretty sure families that she serve are so tired of sadness and bitterness; they may also join her co-works over a cliff.

The Bitter Ex-employee

In conclusion, no matter how angry I feel toward the idiots at my previous workplace, revenge is something I have thought about, and  would never fulfill… I am too much of a lady. But that doesn’t mean I can’t dream about getting revenge. In the end, this rant means nothing, because it all leads back to the children. The scare crow looking as$ president was right about that, it is about maintaining the safety of children.

Related Articles

Unemployed? Write for the examiner.

Hostile Working Environments: A Survival Guide

IF YOU HATE YOUR JOB RAISE YOUR HAND

Hating the Job

Psychology is a heterogeneous discipline that permeates all aspects of our social and professional lives. Recently, I researched the branches of psychology and was pleasantly surprised to find Occupational Health Psychology. If you have ever analyzed the dynamics of your work environment, I assume you have noticed the social and psychological components involved in this minute, yet substantive subculture. Work environments are encompassed with a myriad of characteristics such as politics, positions of power, personality traits, and mental health issues that could literally drive you crazy.

I have worked with some seriously unstable persons in positions of power who demonstrate innumerable flaws in their personality and social capabilities, ultimately affecting the stability of the work place. Everyday we nervously anticipate the arrival of the human resource director and company executive, also known as the Grim Reapers, to lay off another social worker, picking us off like flies or cattle, or however you want to phrase it. Their arrival dissipates any hope of career longevity. As the Grim Reapers malevolently dismantle a burgeoning group of peers, we are invariably plagued with anxiety and in some cases, depression.  As we are symbolically gutted like fish, another person (who I frequently refer to as the Narcissistic Troll), snidely smiles, rejoicing that her sinister, yet brilliantly executed strategy of closing an entire office of dedicated social workers has succeeded… excerpt from e-book

 

HIGH SCHOOL PATERNITY AND DRUG TESTING

Want to know where I took this picture? Right in front of a HIGH SCHOOL!

Who Your Daddy

I have never seen such a horrific sight in my life. And the car was parked right in front as if it belonged to one of the teachers. I think I will be calling in a complaint. This is ridiculous!

Although adolescents are exposed to much worse on television, and while playing video games, it is extremely inappropriate to include such vulgarity to an educational atmosphere.

I am not naive to the fact that there are adolescents who have children, but I don’t think exposing them to a vehicle that says “who’s your daddy” on campus promotes academic prosperity. WTH?

Hostile working environments and wicked social workers

dcb2174
Have you ever worked in an environment of hostility and uncertainty? It is typical to at least have one experience that questions your decision to pursue a career in your particular field. In the field of social work, the private sector can be a systemic mud slide of politics and job insecurity. Furthermore,  the demographics of these private sector agencies are significantly incorporated into the longevity of a social worker’s career.
In the social parameters of demographics, there has always been an unofficial conception conveying the differences between people in opposite hemispheres of the country. The people in southern states are said to have a “southern hospitality”, eluding to the idea of a softer yet passionate people who, in essence, have a higher tolerance for the ambiguities of the human experience. Theoretically, compassion has maintained a historical quality embedded in the social culture of the southern states.
Although the existence of social complexities are rampant within southern working environments, the primary and significant attribute of a collective orientation is normative among employers and employees alike. Without completely alienating northern, mid-western, and eastern subcultures, it is necessary to mention that human beings are systematically compassionate individuals who genuinely care for their cohorts…(excerpt from ebook).